A MUM was furious to learn her kids preferred the unhealthy concoctions her husband came up with to her lovingly prepared meals when she was away for two days.
After a short work trip, mum-of-three Inga, not her real name, questioned her children about daddy’s cooking skills, only for them to inform her he had become a culinary genius in her absence.
She said: “They loved David’s, not his real name, disgusting meals, which included dinosaur nuggets in blankets, sweet and sour fish fingers, and oven chips tossed in gravy granules. Not a single fresh vegetable was eaten by man or child.
“Then they admitted they wished I’d go away more often so daddy could do all the cooking. They’re a bunch of bloody bastard little traitors and I hope they’ve got dangerously high cholesterol.”
However David dismissed the idea that he would be cooking regularly, having exhausted his chef’s creativity after two days of looking in the freezer.
He said: “Much as I enjoy lording it over Inga, I think it’s best she does all the cooking. I’m fresh out of ideas and it’s also quite boring. No wonder we have lasagne three times a week.”
She added: “I hope the bastard’s pleased with himself. There’s no way I’m getting the kids to eat broccoli risotto now. I think for dinner we’ll have potato smileys with Dairylea slices. All the fight has gone out of me.”