Sat. Jul 6th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A YOUNG person has been made to explain every single syllable of the latest indecipherable sentence they have spouted, it has emerged. 

20-year-old Max, not his real name, was taken to task over his most recent TikTok comment which uses recognisable words from the English language yet arranges them in a way that makes little sense. 

Confused reader Martin, not his real name, 36, said: “I can understand each of the words in isolation. But put them all together and no, I’m utterly lost. 

“It’s like being back at school and reading a Shakespeare play. I need a translation on the opposite page with peer-reviewed academic footnotes that explain what the f**k is being said. 

“I’m sitting here with a dictionary as Max goes through the words one-by-one. As far as I can tell, the author is praising the abilities of the protagonist in the face of fierce opposition. Thank God he didn’t mention ‘rizz’ though or I’d be in real trouble. 

“I still don’t get how the comment relates to the video though. It’s just a clip of a man weightlifting then Cilla Black starts singing the theme tune to Surprise Surprise.  

“Even more confusingly, it’s got 634,000 likes.” 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire

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