Why try scissoring?
Engle says that scissoring can be really fun and pleasurable. “For two people with vulvas, you can get a lot of external clitoral stimulation from scissoring because of the way you’re positioned against each other,” she explains. When it comes to two penises or partners with different genitalia, scissoring also offers a different sensation. In a world that can get quite hung up on penetration, it can be refreshing to take that focus away and try something different.
Many people – regardless of what genitalia they possess, have more fun during sex with grinding motions over penetration or humping, and climax easier this way.
It’s also incredibly versatile. “You can play with power dynamics with scissoring by making one of you the top and another the bottom, or switching the roles up,” Gigi adds.
Loxley agrees with Engle about the great power dynamic options of scissoring, and adds that it also offers great control over angles to target the clitoris in the light way.
So many people wave scissoring off as a waste of time before they’ve even tried it
34-year-old presenter Helen, who loves scissoring so much she wrote the book on it, tells GAY TIMES, “scissoring is the most intimate act you can perform with someone, and people wonder why lesbians fall in love so quickly?!”
In Helen’s eyes, scissoring is “by far, a vulnerable act” which is what makes it so incredibly beautiful. “The way in which you’re connecting with someone, the closeness, the eye contact, the connecting of the most divinely beautiful body part. It’s poetry quite frankly,” she says.
It’s also just fucking hot,” she adds. “Wanting to smoosh your vulva into someone else’s. It’s a raw, almost primal act that lets a vulva-owner thrust and gyrate into the person they’re f*cking.”
26-year-old set designer Rhiannon also tells GAY TIMES that she loves scissoring simply because it helps her orgasm the fastest and most intensely. “It’s ridiculous how one way or another scissoring is – so many people wave scissoring off as a waste of time before they’ve even tried it while everyone else seems to think it’s the only sex for lesbians to have together. But it’s actually one of many many options – and a really hot one,” she explains.
“If you love grinding motions like I do, scissoring is just the best thing ever,” she adds.
As for cons, scissoring doesn’t come with many. It’s famously a pretty marmite position so there’s always a chance it might not do it for you – the only way to find out is to give it a try.
However, there are a few things to keep in mind. Loxley warns that it can be a risk for catching STIs. “Unless you have a really big dental dam, which would be uncomfortable to use as you’d have to hold it in place the whole time to cover the whole area, you could catch an STI while scissoring as it usually involves rubbing your genitals against someone else’s without a barrier, making sex less safe,” they explain. This is why it’s so important to communicate with partners about STI status as much as possible, and get tested for all STIs after each new partner.
They also note that, before you get going with scissoring, you’re likely to need some lube. “Unless friction is your thing, lube is needed to lessen friction during scissoring. This is especially needed if you’ve recently shaved your vulva and have any shaving rash present, or if you have a sensitive clitoris or vulva.”
How to spice scissoring up
What’s especially great about scissoring, according to Engle, is that it’s adaptable with sex toys. More often than not, people with vaginas find it easier to come through clitoral stimulation or a blended orgasm (internal and external double-whammy orgasms) over penetration, so you can match your sex toys accordingly.
A double ended dildo like Lovehoney’s Deep Dive strap-on, if both partners have a vulva, can make for a great scissoring session with some internal penetrative sensations. And popping a bullet vibrator like LELO’s Mia 2, or pebble-shaped vulva vibrator like Iroha’s Midori or Smilemakers’ The Ballerina between the two of you while doing any kind of scissoring can help have a really intense orgasm.
If you’re someone who gets off on a grinding sensation, scissoring is probably really fun for you already, but yours and your partner’s pleasure could be elevated by popping a grindpad between you. For the best of both worlds, bring a few toys along and switch them out accordingly, or use your fingers to stimulate the clit while using an internal toy.
It’s important to remember that sex and the array of positions, toys, opportunities and styles that come with it are your choice.
If you’re really ready to step things up a notch, incorporating kinks like bondage or sensory deprivation can create layered sensations that make for a really intense pleasure experience. Use a good bondage kit like this one from The Natural Love Company to tie each other up, or use what you’ve got at home (a bit of rope and a bandana around the eyes with some noise cancelling headphones on go a long way in the bedroom!)
Loxley notes that, because of stereotypes about lesbians and porn showing a lot of scissoring in lesbian sex, a lot of queer people with vulvas feel that they have to like scissoring, which comes with a lot of pressure.
“That can come with induced shame if you don’t want to do it or don’t know how.” It’s important to remember that sex and the array of positions, toys, opportunities and styles that come with it are your choice. Whether you’re a scissor-er or you’d rather try something else, that’s always fine. Just make sure you’re not judging anyone else for loving it.