A MAN having a month off alcohol is putting his concerns about life expectancy before his mates, it has been claimed. 

60-year-old Malcolm, not his real name, from Broome has been refusing pub invites and treating friends like dangerous ‘enablers’, just so that his liver and other major organs can repair themselves after a year of sustained drinking. 

Mal’s best friend Wayne, not his real name, said: “When Mal split up with his fiancee he was in bits but I was there to talk it through and to take him to the pub. I’d like to know where his liver was at the time, because it seemed to be doing fuck all to help. 

“Now though, it seems to be all about his internal organs, because they’re apparently so ‘special’ and keep him alive. 

“It’s his choice to ignore his friends, we all know his liver and his circulatory system won’t be there for him in a crisis.” 

Mal’s closest work friend Stephen, not his real name, said: “It’s like they say ‘You can get another liver, but you can’t get your mates back’. 

“Actually I just made that up but it’s perfectly true.”