It’s that time of year again: Leaders, business titans, philanthropists and celebs descend on the Swiss ski town of Davos to discuss the fate of the world and do deals/shots with the global elite at the annual meeting of the World Economic Forum.

This year’s theme: “Rebuilding trust.” Prescient, given the dumpster fire the world seems to be turning into lately, both literally (climate change) and figuratively (where to even begin?).

As always, the Davos great and good will be rubbing shoulders with some of the world’s absolute top-drawer dirtbags. While there’s been a distinct dearth of Russian oligarchs in attendance at the WEF since Moscow launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, and Donald Trump will be tied up with the Iowa caucus, there are still plenty of would-be autocrats, dictators, thugs, extortionists, misery merchants, spoilers and political pariahs on the Davos guest list.

1. Argentine President Javier Milei

Known as the Donald Trump of Argentina — and also as “The Madman” and “The Wig” — the chainsaw-wielding Javier Milei has it all: a fanatical supporter base, background as a TV shock jock, libertarian anarcho-capitalist policies (except when it comes to abortion), and a … memorable … hairdo.

A long-time Davos devotee (he’s been attending the WEF for years), Milei’s libertarian policies have turned from kooky thought bubbles to concerning reality after he was elected president of South America’s second-largest economy, riding a wave of discontent with the political establishment (sound familiar?). The question now is how far Milei will go in delivering on his campaign promises to hack back public service and state spending, close the Argentine central bank and drop the peso.

If you do get stuck talking to Milei in the congress center or on the slopes, here are some conversation starters …

Milei’s likes: 1) American mobster Al Capone — “a hero.” 2) His cloned English Mastiff dogs — his advisers. 3) Spreading the gospel on tantric sex. 4) Selling human organs on the open market.

Milei’s dislikes: 1) Pope Francis — “a filthy leftist” and “communist turd” — though the Milei administration has recently invited him back to Argentina to visit. 2) Taxes — insisting (incorrectly) Jesus didn’t pay ’em. 3) Sex education — a Marxist plot to destroy the family. 4) Fighting climate change — a hoax, naturally.

2. Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman

Rumor has it that Mohammed bin Salman will make his first in-person WEF appearance at this year’s event, accompanied by a giant posse of top Saudi officials.

It’s the ultimate redemption arc for the repressive authoritarian ruler of a country with an appalling human rights record — who, according to United States intelligence, personally ordered the brutal assassination of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi inside the Saudi consulate in Istanbul in 2018. 

Perhaps MBS would still be a WEF pariah — consigned to rubbing shoulders with mere B-listers at his own Davos in the desert — if it were not for that other one-time Davos-darling-turned-persona-non-grata: Russian President Vladimir Putin. By launching his invasion of Ukraine, which killed thousands of civilians and hundreds of thousands of troops, Putin managed to push the West back into MBS’ embrace. Guess it’s all just oil under the bridge now.

Here’s a piece of free advice: Try to avoid being caught getting a signature MBS fist-bump. Unless, of course, you’re the next person on our list …

3. Jared Kushner, founder of Affinity Partners

Jared Kushner is the closest anyone on the mountain is likely to come to Trump, the former — and possibly future — billionaire baron-cum-anti-elitist president of the United States of America. 

On the one hand, a chat with The Donald’s son-in-law in the days just after the Iowa caucus would probably be quite a get for the Davos devotee. On other hand … it’s Jared Kushner.

The 43-year-old, who is married to Ivanka Trump and served as a senior adviser to the former president during his time in office, leveraged his stint in the White House to build up a lucrative consulting career, focused mainly on the Middle East.

Kushner’s private equity firm, Affinity Partners, is largely funded through Gulf countries. That includes a $2 billion investment from the Saudi Public Investment Fund, led by bin Salman — which was, coincidentally, pushed through despite objections by the crown prince’s own advisers. 

Kushner struck up a friendship and alliance with MBS during his father-in-law’s term in office, raising major conflict-of-interest suspicions for the Trump administration — especially when the then-U.S. president refused to condemn the Saudi leader in Jamal Khashoggi’s murder, despite the CIA concluding he was directly involved.

4. Ilham Aliyev, Azerbaijan’s president

What does an autocrat do with a breakaway state within his country’s borders? Take advantage of Russia’s attention being elsewhere along with the EU’s thirst for his gas to launch a lightning-fast offensive, seize control, deport those pesky ancestral residents, lock up any rascally reporters — and then call a snap election to capitalize on the freshly whipped patriotic fervor, of course!

Not that elections matter much for Ilham Aliyev — a little ballot stuffing here, a bit of double-voting there, add a sprinkle of violence and suppression — and hey presto, you’ve got a winning recipe, for two decades and counting.

Running Azerbaijan is something of a family business for the Aliyevs — Ilham assumed power after the death of his father, Heydar Aliyev, an ex-Soviet KGB officer who ruled the country for decades. And the junior Aliyev changed Azerbaijan’s constitution to pave the path to power for the next generation of his family — and appointed his own wife as vice president to boot.

5. Chinese Premier Li Qiang

Li Qiang is Chinese President Xi Jinping’s ultra-loyal right-hand man, and will represent his boss and his country at the World Economic Forum this year.

Li’s claim to infamy: imposing a brutal lockdown on the entirety of Shanghai for weeks during the coronavirus pandemic, which trapped its 25 million-plus inhabitants at home while many struggled to get food, tend to their animals or seek medical help — and tanking the city’s economy in the process.

Li’s also the guy selling (and whitewashing) China’s Uyghur policy in the Islamic world. In case you need a refresher, China has detained Uyghurs, who are mostly Muslim, in internment camps in the northwest region of Xinjiang, where there have been allegations of torture, slavery, forced sterilization, sexual abuse and brainwashing. China’s actions have been branded genocide by the U.S. State Department, and as potential crimes against humanity by the United Nations.

The Chinese government claims the camps carry out “reeducation” to combat terrorism — a story Li has brought forward during recent meetings with Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, Malaysian Prime Minister Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and Pakistan’s caretaker Prime Minister Anwaar-ul-Haq Kakar. Guess we know whom Li will be lunching with.

6. Rwandan President Paul Kagame

Nicknamed “the Napoleon of Africa” in a nod to his campaign to seize power in 1994, Paul Kagame has ruled over the land of a thousand hills since. He’s often praised for overseeing what is probably the greatest development success story of modern Africa; he’s also a dictator.

The former military officer changed the Rwandan constitution to scrap an inconvenient term limit and cement his firm grip on the levers of power, while clamping down on dissent. But despite being accused of overseeing the imprisonment, exile and torture of Rwandan dissidents and journalists, Kagame has managed to stay in the West’s good books — and on the Davos guest list. 

7. Slovakian Prime Minister Robert Fico

Slovakia just can’t seem to quit Robert Fico. 

Forced from office in 2018 by mass protests following the murder of investigative journalist Ján Kuciak and his fiancée Martina Kušnírová, Fico rose from the political ashes to become Slovakian prime minister for the fourth time late last year. His Smer party ran a Putin-friendly campaign, pledging to end all military support for Ukraine.

Slovakian courts are still working through multiple organized crime cases stemming from the last time Smer was in power, involving oligarchs alleged to have profited from state contracts; former top police brass and senior military intelligence officers; and parliamentarians from all three parties in Fico’s new coalition government.

8. Shou Zi Chew, CEO of TikTok

Shou Zi Chew is the public face of TikTok, the addictive video-blogging social media platform owned by Beijing-headquartered ByteDance. And he’s been in a bruising brawl with regulators in the U.S. and Europe, facing down allegations that TikTok facilitates Chinese espionage, fails to protect its users’ personal data — and dumbs down kids.

Now, we could tell you all about the alleged sins of the app beloved by the world’s teenagers, but we’re sick of rehashing the same old, same old. 

Bottom line: The only social media firm more besieged than TikTok right now is X … but you’re unlikely to find Elon Musk on the mountain, because apparently he’s NFI (not that he wanted to go anyway!).

9. Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Manet

You may be surprised to see Hun Manet on this list: The new, Western-educated Cambodian prime minister has been touted in some circles as a potential modernizer and reformer. 

But Hun Manet is less a breath of fresh air and a lot more continuation of the same stale story. Having inherited his position from his father, the longtime autocrat Hun Sen, Hun Manet has shown no signs of wanting to reform or modernize Cambodia. While some say it’s too early to tell where he’ll land (given his dad’s still on the scene, along with his Communist loyalists), the fact is: Many hallmarks of autocracy are still present in Cambodia. Repression of the opposition? Check. Dodgy “elections”? Check. Widespread graft and clientelism? Check and check. 

10. Qatar Prime Minister Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim al-Thani

How has a small kingdom of 2.6 million inhabitants in the Persian Gulf managed to play a starring role in so many explosive scandals?

There were the influence-buying allegations that claimed the scalps of multiple European Union lawmakers. The claims of undisclosed lobbying by two Trump-aligned Republican operatives. The multiple controversies over attempts at sportswashing. Not to mention the questions raised about what officials in the emirate knew ahead of the October 7 attacks on Israel by Hamas — of which Qatar is the biggest financial backer.

You’d think that sort of record would see Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim al-Thani shunned by the world’s top brass. Nah! Just this month, U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken met with the Qatari leader and told him the U.S. was “deeply grateful for your ongoing leadership in this effort, for the tireless work which you undertook and that continues, to try to free the remaining hostages.” 

See you on the slopes, Mohammed!

11. Polish President Andrzej Duda

When you compare Polish President Andrzej Duda to some of the others on this list, he doesn’t seem to measure up. He’s not a dictator running a violent petro-state, hasn’t invaded any neighbors or even wielded a chainsaw on stage.

But Duda is yesterday’s man. As the last one standing from Poland’s nationalist Law and Justice party that was swept out of office last year, Duda’s holding on for dear life to his own relevance, doing his best to act as a spoiler against the Donald Tusk-led government by wielding his veto powers and harboring convicted lawmakers. All of which is to say: When you catch up with President Duda at Davos, don’t assume he’s speaking for Poland.

12. Amin Nasser, CEO of Aramco

The Saudi Arabian state oil and gas company is Aramco — the world’s biggest energy firm — and Amin Nasser is its boss. If you read Aramco’s press releases, you’d be forgiven for assuming it is also the world’s biggest champion of the green energy transition. Spoiler alert: It’s far from it.

Exhibit A: Aramco is reportedly a top corporate polluter, with environment nongovernmental organization ClientEarth reporting that it accounts for more than 4 percent of the globe’s greenhouse gas emissions since 1965. Exhibit B: Bloomberg reported in 2021 that it understated its carbon footprint by as much as 50 percent. 

Nasser, meanwhile, has criticized the idea that climate action should mean countries “either shut down or slow down big time” their fossil fuel production. Say that to Al Gore’s face!

Dionisios Sturis, Peter Snowdon, Suzanne Lynch and Paul de Villepin contributed reporting.