But any aliens who have just landed on Earth this year might think otherwise.
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The Golden Globes were awash with jokes about big boobs, reducing the Oscar-tipped feminist Barbie movie, written by the talented Greta Gerwig, to a bit of nonsense drivel.
We’ve had George Clooney come up with “homely” — read boring — as the best adjective to describe his dazzlingly stunning human-rights lawyer wife Amal.
And we’ve had Shaun Bailey MP say that women can’t be serious political commentators if they also enjoy posting a few revealing photos on Instagram.
It seems that even in 2024, people expect females to fit into a box — yes, you can be clever, you can be attractive, you can be a good mum or wife.
READ MORE ON MARGOT ROBBIE
But can you be all of that? It seems not. You only need to watch the reaction to host Jo Koy’s Barbie jibes at the Golden Globes to see that us women are so tired of being reduced to simply bum and boobs.
Bit of cleavage
When comparing Barbie to Oppenheimer — the other major contender this awards season — he wisecracked that while the atomic bomb movie is based on a 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project, Barbie is about a plastic doll with big boobies.
And he went on: “The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad breath, cellulite and flat feet. Or what casting directors call character actor!”
I don’t think he got a laugh.
Selena Gomez put her head in her hands, Emma Stone looked like she had swallowed a fly, while Emily Blunt and Margot Robbie each faked a polite smile, something we have all done when hearing a sexist joke.
Why is it that we as a society cannot recognise, rejoice and congratulate a woman for being hot and intelligent?
It was lead actress Margot Robbie’s ten-year-old production company that made Barbie, while films in its back catalogue include Oscar-winning I, Tonya.
Her company, and director Greta Gerwig, are also more recently behind sexy posh hit Saltburn.
Robbie and Gerwig are power-houses but their clever, box-office hit film Barbie has become the butt of jokes.
Speaking of which, last week Carol Vorderman was the subject of ridicule by former London mayoral candidate Shaun Bailey, who said she can’t comment on politics if she posts photos of her bum and boobs online.
Why the bloody hell not?
Why can’t women wear short skirts and flash a bit of cleavage while also being well read and a bit of a nerd?
I have lashings of skin in this particular game. Not only am I easy on the eye but I’m intelligent too.
I was the last of my generation to sit O levels and passed all nine of them, including maths and science. I graduated with a media studies degree. Sounds like one of those easy courses, right? Yet more than 4,000 candidates had applied for the 40 places.
But my graduate peers include humourist Jon Ronson and Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker. Both men are fawned over like they’re intellectual writer gods. And am I treated with the same intellectual reverence, even though as a writer I’m a global name? You must be joking.
Because when you are blonde with a honed figure, when you can name your favourite MAC lippy in seconds and cite your girl crush — Abbey Clancy, if you are interested — no one will ever be interested in your intellectual prowess.
When I worked in telly behind the camera throughout my twenties and thirties, not one employer ever asked me about my degree or engaged me in a heavyweight conversation.
I could honk on for hours about French philosopher Roland Barthes and his groundbreaking work on signs and semiotics in adverts.
Yet blokes would just ask me where I liked to socialise, who my favourite bands were and if I had a boyfriend.
Little old wifey
Research shows men are intimidated by smart women. One study found that while they liked the “idea” of dating a smart woman, when it comes to the reality of it they weren’t interested.
And it’s not only men who I have had to dial down my intelligence for.
In one work meeting I made the mistake of quoting a line from a Virginia Woolf novel.
Afterwards my female boss made it crystal clear to me she did not like that I had done this — and that’s only because she didn’t know the quote.
I have also remarked on someone having a sibilant “S”, when auditioning potential presenters for a show.
My editor sidled up to me afterwards — first to ask what that meant (it’s when you pronounce an S with a slight hiss) and then to tell me not to use complicated words again.
People expect women who look like me to read chick lit — which is fine — and only watch romcoms (also fine) when actually some of us have a bit more breadth to our lives.
Frankly, being hot and also the most intelligent person in the room makes people feel uncomfortable.
Maybe that’s why this week, George Clooney, 62, remarked that his hotshot lawyer wife Amal, 45, was not only a “force of nature” but also homely — implying that despite her intellect she still plays little old wifey at home, which of course is the most important thing when scoring woman points.
Because sadly, females still do 65 per cent of the housework and the majority of childcare.
Thankfully, despite the old-fashioned quips we receive, it’s us double-threat women — smart and sexy — who are laughing all the way to the bank.
Margot Robbie scored almost £50million for Barbie.
Amal Clooney is estimated to have a net worth of almost £40million.
And I am doing all right, too.
I own a mortgage-free home, am buying a place in the sun, have numerous cars — one for me and one for the dogs — and holiday when and where I like.
So, yes, it is possible to be hot and clever.
We’re proof.
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