Sun. Dec 22nd, 2024
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DESPITE millennials falling out of love with dating apps, this week is the busiest time of year for online dating.

Around 11.4million messages are sent from January through until Valentine’s Day on February 14 and 2,263 pictures are uploaded to profiles every minute.

This week is the busiest time of year for online dating4

This week is the busiest time of year for online datingCredit: Getty

But it has its problems.

Here, matchmaker and dating expert Sarah Louise Ryan tells Lynsey Hope about the dating app traps and how to avoid them . . . 

CATFISHING

WHEN someone creates a fake profile for themself online.

It might be that they don’t look like their profile photo any more, or that they don’t do the job or have the car they claim they do.

But in some cases people are being disingenuous because they want to scam you or are already in a relationship.

SARAH SAYS: To avoid it, I’d advise a video call. If something isn’t genuine then it thrives online where the truth is easily hidden.

If you go on a video date, you’ll know very quickly if someone doesn’t look like their photo and if they have lied online. Ask questions.

A catfish won’t have the time to respond in the same way as they do when they have time to orchestrate messages.

CYBERFLASHING

ABOUT two in every five millennial women have received a sexual photo they did not ask for, a study by pollsters YouGov found, although sending such images was made illegal in 2022.

SARAH SAYS: To sieve out those sending pics you don’t want, be quite lengthy in your dating profile about who you are, the person you are looking to meet and the lifestyle you are hoping to build.

When people see you are really invested in creating a profile, it’s likely they will realise you are after something more meaningful than just an exchange of photos and will avoid you.

But if you do receive them, report it.

It was made illegal and most apps will take it seriously and remove that person from the app, especially if they do it multiple times.

GHOSTING

Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication4

Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication

SOMEONE suddenly cuts off all communication, often out of the blue and without explanation.

A study last year by Forbes magazine found that 76 per cent of respondents had either ghosted, or been ghosted, in the context of dating.

SARAH SAYS: Ghosting is part of the dating scene, unfortunately, and is on the rise.

When someone doesn’t have the tools to communicate to you that they are no longer interested, the easiest thing for them to do is just block you.

Daters should know that it is not any reflection of you.

It’s not your responsibility and, if it happens, you are best to move on.

Carry on dating and don’t let it put you off.

You can try to establish clear lines of communication from the outset and be honest about what you want, without being rude.

Give your date every chance to explain clearly how they feel without worrying about your response.

BREADCRUMBING

Breadcrumbing is when someone strings you along4

Breadcrumbing is when someone strings you alongCredit: Getty

THIS means stringing someone along.

You give them just enough attention to keep them interested, without committing to a full relationship.

SARAH SAYS: Often with breadcrumbing, the people doing it are ones who don’t have a lot of confidence.

They want a fallback in case something else doesn’t work out and they might test the waters with a lot of people.

The best advice is to only date one person at a time.

This means you are focused and intentional, and are treating people as you would like to be treated.

If you split your time and energy between a lot of people, the chances are that you’ll only attract people who are doing the same.

ROMANCE FRAUD

THIS happens when people send money to criminals who have gone to great lengths to gain their trust.

In the last financial year, the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau received 8,036 reports of romance cons with an average loss per victim of £11,500.

SARAH SAYS: To reduce your risk, you should get offline and on a date.

Go to a public place where you feel safe such as a restaurant.

If they are on a dating app but not dating, that is a red flag and you must ask what they are there for.

Never send money to or share bank details with someone you have never met, no matter what.

You can also put their name, profile pictures and the term “dating scam” into your search engine to see if they are who they say they are.

APP FATIGUE

THOSE who use dating apps spend an average of 55 minutes a day swiping on them, according to a poll by lonely hearts website eHarmony.

The study found 39 per cent checked them first thing in the morning and 48 per cent swipe just before bedtime.

SARAH SAYS: I believe online dating is making a huge contribution to a decline in our mental health.

It’s normal to feel low or depressed if you don’t get any swipes or if someone blocks you.

If you have lots of different apps it can become over-whelming, especially if you have notifications turned on.

You end up with too much choice and don’t know who to trust.

Limit yourself to two dating apps and 30 minutes a day.

Don’t check first thing in the morning or last thing at night.

PLAYING AWAY

Two thirds of Tinder users are already in a relationship when going on the dating site4

Two thirds of Tinder users are already in a relationship when going on the dating siteCredit: Getty

TWO thirds of Tinder users are already in a relationship when going on the dating site, and are not looking for a life partner, discovered researchers at a French university last summer.

SARAH SAYS: Certain apps such as Hinge ask if you are looking for marriage, if you want to start a family or if you are hoping for a committed relationship.

Use those apps and be clear about what you are looking for.

If you state you want to get married it’s unlikely you’ll be contacted by someone who already has a partner.

If you say you want a bit of fun and no strings, you may well attract those who cheat.

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