A WOMAN who encouraged her boyfriend to talk about his feelings wishes he would stop now as she is trying to watch EastEnders, it has emerged. 

Emma, not her real name, was concerned that Jack Browne was bottling things up and persuaded him to express himself, but did not anticipate that he would not want to shut the f**k up again. 

She said: “I’ve learned to be emotionally literate through reading hundreds of self-help manuals, but the only book Jack has read is Bravo Two Zero, and there isn’t much about reflecting on your feelings in that. 

“So I asked him to tell me his hopes, fears and dreams, and talk about his childhood. And, Christ, did those floodgates open. 

“He used to go and play video games while I was watching telly, but now he sits on the sofa with me, wrapped in a blanket and clutching a tissue while explaining how his dad has given him an inferiority complex by loving his sister more. 

“I honestly preferred it when he had the emotional intelligence of a pebble. At least I could enjoy the soaps in peace.” 

Jack, not his real name, said: “Did I tell you about when my pet fish died and mum flushed him down the loo? Poor Nemo. I’m so sad.”