Tue. Nov 5th, 2024
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In her late 60s, Adelaide-based novelist Carol Lefevre had the distinct sense she was at the threshold of unchartered territory.

“[I saw] turning 70 as a kind of border to be crossed,” she tells ABC RN’s God Forbid.

She was uncertain about what might lie ahead.

“I was wondering how I was going to cope when I was in that territory on the other side.”

She began writing a series of essays “as a way of finding out what I thought, what I felt, and what people expected of me”.

The process was “not always comfortable”, but it helped her understand an intimate and complex feeling she was experiencing: homesickness.

Rather than longing for a place, Ms Lefevre found herself yearning for a time.

She missed her younger self. And when she spoke with people of a similar age, she found they did, too.

After all, as she writes in a recent essay, “old is a country no-one wants to visit”.

A white woman in her 70s with curly grey hair looks pensively into the camera.
“In many ways, we need the past so badly to hold us in place,” Lefevre says.(Supplied)

Australia’s ‘youth obsession’

While ageing creeps up slowly, certain moments can “suddenly confront us” with the “enormous change that’s taken place”, Ms Lefevre says.

She experienced one such moment recently while driving, when singer Jackson Browne came on the radio.

The sound of his voice sent a shockwave through her.

“It kind of catapulted me back in time to a time when I [was] living quite differently,” she says.

When, instead of “going to bed at eight o’clock at night on a Saturday”, she was out adventuring in the world.

“There’s no road back [to the past]. And that’s the really difficult part.”

Ms Lefevre traces a sense of grief in ageing to the ageism that is rife in Australian society. She says we are raised to be “age denialists”.

Clinical psychologist and men’s health researcher Zac Seidler agrees.

Australia has a “youth obsession”, he says.

“There are so many different cultures that have a lot of respect for their older generations, and I feel we are moving further away from that.”

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