A MAN known for being mysterious, difficult to read and often morose might just be a massive bellend, it has emerged.

Joseph, not his real name, is known by family and friends for his long periods of silence and unexplained mood swings. But rather than making him unpopular, his behaviour has earned him a reputation as a complex, brooding figure.

Girlfriend Francesca, not her real name, said: “I’ve never met a man quite like Joe. He’s not what you’d call ‘nice’ or ‘kind’, but I find that so fascinating. 

“He’s not much of a talker, but when he does, he tells you exactly what’s on his mind, even if it’s ‘You look fat in those jeans’.

“However he doesn’t reveal much about himself, like when he comes home late at night and won’t tell me where he’s been. Other girls might be worried he’s cheating on them, but not me. It’s incredibly enigmatic.

“It’s like going out with a spy. A spy who sulks a lot and refuses to meet my parents.”

However Joseph’s brother Tom believes he has a more accurate view of his deep and intriguing personality.

He said: “Joe’s just an arsehole. He always has been. He drinks too much, does loads of drugs and cheats on all his partners. Then he claims it’s due to his ‘demons’, but we grew up in Surrey. He had oboe lessons, for f**k’s sake.”