For a successful relationship, it’s best to consider these points and learn how to deal with them.
Two experts have shared the top five things people secretly hate about their other half and how you can work on them.
Each other’s friends
When you get into a relationship, you become friends with your partner’s friends.
Georgina Sturmer, a counselling directory member explained how this can become a problem: “Sometimes this brings added joy to our lives, with new friendships and adventures. But sometimes it adds extra stress and frustration.
“Perhaps you don’t really like the people who your partner hangs out with, or perhaps you don’t like the way that your partner behaves when they’re with their friends.”
To solve this, Georgina suggests accepting your feelings, and telling your partner.
You might “feel angry or frustrated by what their friends say, or how they behave”, maybe you’re “jealous of the connection” the friends have with your partner, or perhaps you feel “insecure or worried that they won’t like you”.
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The expert recommended “being honest”, but said to make sure your other half “knows you’re not blaming their friends, or criticising their choices”.
She also said it might just be a case of needing to spend more time with them.
Their relationship with money
Financial compatibility is important in a relationship and can contribute to long-term success.
Georgina said: “The topic of money and spending often features heavily in disagreements between a couple.”
She recommends “talking openly about money” and learning what your own relationship is with it too.
Discuss earnings, spending and budgeting, as well as savings.
Georgina continues: “We also have an emotional relationship with money; maybe spending gives you pleasure, or makes you feel successful, or perhaps spending triggers fear or anxiety for you” and this needs to be spoken about too.
Dismissing you and your feelings
This is more common than you think, as Dr Charlotte Whiteley explains it’s a topic brought up by many of her clients.
She explained how they “talk about feeling like their partners are not interested in them or their feelings”, as a result, people can feel, lonely, disconnected or have little self-worth.
The expert said “it’s crucial our partner shows interest in us and listens”, and suggests sitting together once a week to talk about everything that’s going well in your relationship and any areas to improve on.
Their anger
Whilst you can show anger in a relationship in a number of healthy ways, anger is an emotion that we’ve all got to learn how to deal with at some point.
Dr Charlotte added: “Anger is a primal emotion, and its function is to keep threat away. When we are faced with an angry partner, we may feel frightened, or we may react by becoming angry ourselves, both of which are primal survival responses.
“When anger shows itself in relationships, it’s important to make space for it and listen to the anger.
“Perhaps outside of the heat of the moment, you can sit down together calmly and talk about the parts of you and your partner that feel anger, what leads to it and how the anger impacts you both.”
Their social awkwardness
Dr Charlotte says this is another common topic she spends time talking to her clients about and “often clients talk about feeling uncomfortable with their partner’s social behaviour with their friends or family”.
If a partner “misfires socially”, it can leave the other person feeling as if they want the “ground to open”, the expert told Metro.
To get past this, you’ll have to remember that you need to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader in social situations.
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