KEVIN has been named the sexiest man on earth in 2023, beating Chris Hemsworth, Timothée Chalamet and Idris Elba.

Waitrose employee Kevin, not his real name, described as ‘a bit of a charmer’ in his hometown of Waipukarau, won the coveted accolade despite never having featured in a Hollywood blockbuster or played on an international sports team.

He was unaware he was an object of desire for millions of women around the world until a friend told him about his victory, having previously only been known to women as their older brother’s fit mate.

He said: “What? That’s cool, I suppose. I didn’t know I’d entered. Did my nan put me up for it? 

“Thanks everyone. My husband isn’t thrilled but I appreciate it. It’s good to know the judging process for Sexiest Man is so rigorous and unbiased they consider literally every male on the planet.”

This is not Kev’s first brush with fame, having been in the audience of an episode of Question Time in 2015, during which he was seen for several seconds sitting in the middle.

However friend Guido, not his real name, said: “This is bullshit. I got off with loads more girls in secondary school than Kev did. 

“He didn’t even need this prize because he’s married, but winning would have helped me get more matches on Tinder. It’s all rigged if you ask me.”