Fri. Nov 8th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A MAN replaces the photo of his wife and kids on his phone with a picture of something macho every time he goes out with the lads. 

When preparing to go to the pub a critical part of Ercan, not his real name, routine is to swap the image of his loving family for one that his mates will not see and call him a ‘pussy’. 

He said: “The photo I usually have is of me, Mum and the children at Disneyland doing the Hot Dog Dance. Which I love, but the boys would laugh and I do look a bit of a twat in the Mickey Mouse ears, to be fair. 

“So I change it before I leave the house. Last week I had a monster truck with flames down the side, the week before the Arsenal logo. Tonight I’m thinking Tyson Fury. Is that macho or is a picture of a muscly bloke with his top off a bit gay? 

“Honestly, it’s a minefield. Still, better to be called a ‘massive bender’ than have my friends thinking I’m devoted to my lovely family.” 

Mate Big Edwin, not his real name, said: “The truth is we’re pleased he’s so happy. But the only way we know how to express that is to absolutely rip the piss until he’s almost crying.” 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire