A PAIR of scrimping bellends are holding their wedding on a Friday, which is cheaper for them but incredibly inconvenient for their guests. 

Lucy and Oliver Shamfull, not their real names, had not planned their nuptials very far in advance and did not want to spend much money, so chose a day that would work for them but be a massive pain in the arse for everyone else. 

Friend Sophie, not her real name, said: “Yes, it’s lovely for them to celebrate their relationship, but I had to take a day off work for this. And I’m freelance, which means I don’t even get paid. 

“Plus it’s a school day, so I either had to take the kids out and risk a fine or persuade my ex to swap his weekend for having them. We had a blazing row, obviously. 

“And when you factor in the amount I spent on a train ticket and taxi to get to this beautiful country house in the arse end of nowhere, I’m almost £400 out of pocket. Did I get them a present? No f**king chance.” 

Bride Lucy said: “It’s a wonderful day but nobody is smiling much for the photos. I guess they’re trying not to weep at the beauty of our love.” 

Groom Oliver said: “Having a wedding on a Friday shows you who your real friends are. A couple no one can stand and a weird bloke from uni, in my case.”