I am 28 and my girlfriend is 27. We have been together for five months and she’s lovely.
But whenever she mentions anything about her romantic or sexual past it lingers in my mind.
She’s had a casual sexual relationship with someone that I know, several one-night stands, and even admits to having unprotected sex with various holiday flings in the past.
I know this is my problem and at our ages it is hardly unusual for people to have had one-night stands, so why does it bother me?
It is almost like the more I care about her, the more I feel the need to pry a little further into her past.
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I don’t know why I am doing this as I never like what I find, but I can’t help dwelling on her past. It’s almost as if I like punishing myself.
How do I stop thinking about this?
DEIDRE SAYS: Let it go. That was then and she’s with you now, enjoying a faithful, loving relationship.
She can’t change her sexual history and, in any case, her past has made her the person you love today.
Pack it away in the past where it belongs.
If it comes to mind, have a mental picture ready of one of your best moments together and focus on that.