After starting their own queer families and founding their award-winning podcast series Some Families, Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley came together to write the first ever mainstream LGBTQ+ parenting book to publish in the UK. The Queer Parent: Everything You Need To Know From Gay to Ze is packed with expert advice through an LGBTQ+ lens, ranging from fostering to fertility treatment, to dealing with homophobia to creating a home.
This landmark publication will inevitably be a vital resource for queer parents, exploring the challenges they will face, but also the joys of raising children. Here, GAY TIMES speaks with Stu to discuss the origins of the book, his process bringing it all together, and the response he’s received from queer readers.
Where did the idea for The Queer Parent originate from?
Lotte and I hosted the podcast, Some Families, which was the first ever UK podcast that solely focused on queer families. During that process not only did Lotte and I discover so much about each others very different journeys to parenthood, we also spoke to so many incredible people who had started families in completely different ways to us but all had one thing in common: we all have the unique LGBTQ+ experience that makes us all unique. The response was incredible and we felt it was important to write a book that not only helped queer prospective parents and families not feel alone, but also something fun and entertaining that those in the community who don’t have kids – or don’t even ever want kids – can read to further understand a part of our community that is raising the next generation.
There’s not much information out there for LGBTQ+ people hoping to start a family. Knowing this, did you feel pressure writing the book?
You are right that the lack of information is quite shocking. The book is actually the first time a major publisher has published a book on queer families. We were, and are, so proud of the book so think that pride carried us through the process rather than pressure.
You answer a lot of questions readers may have about starting a family. Were some topics harder than others? If so, which topics?
We didn’t want the book to be simply a guide to the different ways you can have children as an LGBTQ+ person… of which there are many! It was important that it also spoke to existing queer parents and also painted a wider picture of just the process of getting you there. Therefore in the book we cover a wide range of topics including mental health, schools, holidaying as a queer parent, gender impact on families, race, the impact of gay shame on parenting and doing it solo. We (hopefully) cover these in a fun, entertaining and informative way.