Thu. Nov 21st, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

Tony Hoang’s epiphany happened on a street in Cabramatta. 

For decades, the suburb had been a backdrop to his tumultuous life.

It was there that alcoholism and abuse tore his childhood apart; where a desire for “belonging” lured him into a notorious crime gang; and where heroin gifted him tens of thousands of dollars and, later, almost took his life.

Cabramatta was “a melting pot of gangs and drugs” in the 1990s, Tony tells Compass.

But on February 8, 2004, someone on the street handed Tony a flyer. It changed everything.

A fractured family

Tony’s parents moved to Australia in 1980, in the wake of the Vietnam War.

“They came looking for a better future, with four children on the boat,” he says. “I was actually born in Australia.”

Tony’s parents fled Vietnam, with four of his older siblings.()

The family was initially based in a refugee hostel in Bondi, before relocating to Western Sydney.

Facing language barriers and financial pressures, Tony’s parents worked long hours trying to provide for their children.

His dad worked as a house painter, while his mum began sewing clothes from home. She’d whiz through “massive bags, the size of a person”, Tony says, and received just a single cent per item.  

Due to their schedules, Tony doesn’t remember having much interaction with his parents. As he grew up, the chasm widened.

“I lost my Vietnamese because I was always speaking English in schools,” he explains.

“So I did understand my parents, but I couldn’t communicate with them on a deep level.

“I couldn’t let them know, ‘Hey, I’m having some trouble at school.'”

Language wasn’t the only problem in the Hoang household.

“Rather than a loving family, I would come home to Dad abusing Mum, drunk, and abusing us,” Tony recalls.

“Because my father was so violent, every single one of my siblings ran away, including myself, at a very young age.”

Tony, pictured with his sisters, says he went to school to escape his abusive home.()

Becoming the bully

Tony went to school to escape his turbulent home life, but it didn’t offer the safe haven he longed for.

“I really bottled things up inside me,” he says. “You know, the disappointment, the anger, the abuse. So I would go to school [and] have that bubbling within me.”

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