A MAN believes the three pints of lager he consumed at lunchtime had no effect due to the cup of tea he drank back at the office.
Anthony, not his real name, initially felt guilty that he had necked three pints of Stella Artois in quick succession at the Lamb & Flag and feared it might affect his work performance.
But after staggering back to his desk and pondering the matter over a mug of PG Tips, he realised the sobering effects of the hot leaf drink cancelled out the far stronger beer.
He said: “As an accountant I am very conscious of the ledger and balance sheet. Applying that expertise, I realised that if you make the tea particularly strong, leaving the bag in the mug for a good six minutes, it will counterbalance the lager and bring you back to net zero.
“Okay, I sort of forgot what I was saying to a client in the middle of a sentence, but that’s probably just due to the boring nature of the phone call. God I’d like a lie-down. Wouldn’t it be nice if offices had beds?”
Reassured by having a ‘clean slate’ in terms of alcohol consumption, Logan consumed three bottles of wine when he got home.
He added: “Before passing out I retained the presence of mind to drink three pints of water to rehydrate. So effectively I had nothing to drink at all.”