A WOMAN’S boyfriend has interrupted her complaint that nobody ever listens to her by explaining he is a great listener.  

Hannah, not her real name, was telling Guido, not his real name, that nobody at work ever pays attention to her when he cut her off to say that he is an exception and any suggestion he does not appreciate, value, or listen to her views is frankly hurtful. 

He continued: “I understand you might feel you’re not being heard sometimes, but not in this relationship. No danger. 

“I make time and space, I hear you out, I’m empathetic and receptive. I know that communication isn’t a one-way street. Hey, if I didn’t you wouldn’t be telling me about whatever it is. The work thing. 

“Do I occasionally contribute my own perspective? Sure, but only when it helps to illuminate the subject at hand, as at present. Anyway, shall I heat up that korma? And I have to tell you about what happened with Mark’s fantasy football team.” 

Hannah said: “Guido hears about one word in ten, most of which are his own name, like a dog. 

“The shameful thing is that compared to most pricks, that actually does qualify him a good listener.”