Republican and Democrat politicians alike, beware: If you’ve taken classified documents, U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland will find you.
Well, at least he’ll try.
“Saturday Night Live” kicked off this week with an opening sketch that saw Garland, played by Mikey Day, holding a news conference to discuss the federal government’s efforts to retrieve classified documents from former President Donald Trump, current President Joe Biden and more politicians.
“Some have said the federal government classifies too many documents,” Day’s Garland explained. “This has led people to ask, ‘Does recovering these documents even matter?’ To which I say, ‘I don’t know, but it’s the law. And I am the law.’ “
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Federal Bureau of Intelligence agents, played by Kenan Thompson, Ego Nwodim and Bowen Yang, stepped up to share their findings.
“Upon arriving at (former Vice President Mike) Pence’s Indiana home, I knew right away this man needed a friend,” Thompson said. “When he opened the door, he said, ‘You came!’ with a big smile, and then he offered to make us pancakes.”
Yang shared his experience searching former President Barack Obama’s home.
“Don’t mean to brag, but I was in Barack Obama’s house,” Yang said. “It was really fun. Mr. Obama opened the door and said, ‘Are you selling Girl Scout cookies?’ – which had us all totally cracking up.”
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While searching Obama’s residence, Yang said the FBI found more than a hundred letters from “Hamilton” creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda begging Obama to see the show.
“Beyoncé called him on his cell phone, and he ignored it,” Yang added. “So yeah. Just like, a really cool fun time.”
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The sketch ended with Thompson asking Day’s Garland if they’re “going to make sure justice is served” in Memphis, Tennessee, as well, referencing footage that showed five police officers beating 29-year-old Tyre Nichols, who died three days later. Day’s Garland replied, “I sincerely hope so.” It was the only reference “SNL” made to the incident during the episode.
