IF the lyrics to any song are even slightly ambiguous, that’s not because the composer was struggling to find rhymes. It’s because they’re about filthy vices:
Neighbours theme by Tony Hatch and Jackie Trent
‘That’s when good neighbours become good friends’? A clear reference to everyone on Ramsey Street being swingers. The whole song’s a torrent of filth about the uninhibited sex lives of horny Australians in an orgy-obsessed cul-de-sac. All made explicit after 37 years of subtext in the finale where Guy Pearce wore a gimp suit.
Agadoo by Black Lace
No 80s party was complete without Agadoo and everyone, including your nan and grandad, dancing along to ‘push pineapple, grind coffee’. Grinding coffee is obviously sex, more specifically scissoring. Pushing pineapples is dealing crack cocaine. Once you’ve danced it you’ll want to do it for real.
Wannabe by the Spice Girls
The video, where the Spice Girls harrass the homeless before running wild in a hotel, makes it clear the ‘zig-a-zig-ah’ of the song is a street drug, probably heroin, injected into the male member. ‘Slam your body down and wind it all around’ is a reference to the muscle spasms linked to withdrawal.
Supersonic by Oasis
Elsa, the girl who sniffs Alka-Seltzer through a cane on a supersonic train and has done it with a doctor on a helicopter, is clearly a cocaine user feeding her addiction through high-end prostitution. Oasis made this lifestyle seem so appealing that all of their female fans would have followed suit, if they had any.
Atmosphere by Russ Abbott
A decade before Ebeneezer Goode there was an ecstasy anthem by 80s comic Russ Abbot. School discos played the track, innocently unaware it was about ecstasy-fuelled raving and the Ibiza Balearic scene. How else are lines like ‘you and I’ll be dancing in the cool night air’ – a reference to E raising your body temperature – to be interpreted?
Walk the Dinosaur by Was (Not Was)
The band claimed it was about nuclear armageddon, but it’s clearly a call to arms for doggers. ‘Walk the dinosaur’ is dogger code for ‘leaving the house to meet complete strangers in a layby off the A505 to bang someone’s wife over the back of a Kia Optima.’ The lyric ‘you fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars’ was written on a quiet night.