But the 33-year-old from Denver, Colorado had no idea her diagnosis would also uncover a decades-old secret – and connect her to long-lost secret siblings.
Here she shares her incredible story of how her deadly disease uncovered a whole web of lies…
“’It’s probably nothing,’ I said to myself as I got dressed, catching sight yet again of the raised red skin.
For months the lump in my right breast had been getting bigger, and by July 2021 it was even a little painful.
I kept putting it out of my mind, hoping that if I ignored it, it would just go away. But when the pain grew, I finally made an appointment at the doctors.
Their concern was instant. Within days I’d had a biopsy and then, three weeks later, I was left devastated by the results.
I had breast cancer.
At first, I was freaking out. How advanced was it? What were the treatment options? The team were amazing, explaining that the best thing I could do while waiting for more test results was to fill out a detailed health questionnaire.
They wanted loads of information about my family’s health as the more they knew, the better informed they’d be about the best next steps.
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Calling my mum Lori and dad Dave to tell them about my diagnosis was really hard but at least I was able to offer a practical way that they could help.
However, while mum knew a lot about her relative’s health history, dad was pretty vague.
But at the time his evasive answers and desire to get it over with didn’t strike me as odd.
‘He’s just a guy,’ I thought, as we got off the phone. ‘He probably doesn’t know much about grandma and grandad’s health.’
Meanwhile I tried my best to keep busy in the wake of my diagnosis.
When I wasn’t at work as a veterinary technician my fiancé John was amazing at helping me stay positive.
Then, a few days after I’d seen mum and dad, my phone kept ringing.
Seeing it was dad I was confused, as he’d never normally call me at work.
When I eventually managed to grab a minute, I listened to his message and was surprised to hear him say ‘We need to talk, call me back.’
I sent him a quick text to explain that I was at work, but he just continued to call me – I had an awful feeling something was really wrong.
When my mum arrived at my house the next day, sitting with Jon and my younger brother Colten, she refused to explain what was going on.
‘Hally,’ she said, ‘Dad’s the one who is going to have to tell you this.’
“I was struck dumb, my brain instantly began jumping between scenarios. Had mum had an affair? Had she been married before she met him?”Hally Kinser
By then I was panicking.
I was jumping to all sorts of conclusions and convinced myself that dad must be dying. I could never have anticipated the words that came out of his mouth.
‘I don’t know how to say this,’ he began. ‘You and your brother have different fathers.’
I was struck dumb, my brain instantly began jumping between scenarios. Had mum had an affair? Had she been married before she met him?
As much as I was desperate for answers, I couldn’t avoid my dad’s own devastation, he could barely get the words out.
‘We tried to have kids for a long time before finding out that I wasn’t able to,’ he told me.
‘So, we used two different sperm donors to have you and your brother.’
I was in total shock but I was also hugely relieved that nothing was wrong with my dad.
Seeing him sit there fighting back tears, realising what a huge burden this had been for the past 32 years, I was so sad for him.
He kept apologising, explaining that mum had wanted to tell us all along but that the doctors had advised them to keep it a secret and no one would ever need to know.
‘You don’t need to say sorry,’ I said, and I really meant it.
After all, he was my dad and I loved him. This didn’t change a thing, in fact, I had even more love and respect for him.
He’d loved and raised me even though I wasn’t biologically his daughter.
We’d never been the kind of family to hug and say, ‘I love you’, but that day we did both. I wanted dad to know that it didn’t change a thing.
I thought back to growing up, I had always had a happy childhood, but I remember a weird moment when I thought, ‘maybe these aren’t my parents?’
I looked at my brother Colten and we laughed. We were so different growing up, this explained so much.
While it came as a shock, I was also excited by the prospect I could have a whole other family out there.
That night in bed, all I could think about were the siblings. It sounds crazy but I just knew they were out there. What would they be like? Would they look like me?
I didn’t think about the man who’d donated the sperm, just the brothers and sisters that were in the world and I knew I had to find them.
In the three-week wait for my mastectomy, it was all I could think about. I drove John mad talking endlessly about DNA tests I could take, and how quickly the results would be back.
It gave me a positive focus, away from the cancer and upcoming surgery.
“Heart thumping, I saw he had the same cheeks and eyes as I did, and a huge smile.”Hally Kinser
Once I’d decided on the 23andme DNA test I couldn’t wait until the surgery was over. I spat in the vial and sent it off a few days before I headed into hospital.
The two-hour surgery went well, they removed my lymph node as well as my right breast and a week later I had the incredible news that they had removed the cancer.
But in the two months I then had off work I was so impatient as I awaited my DNA results, spending hours watching documentaries about long-lost siblings who have been reunited.
Mum and dad both knew I’d taken the test and were supportive, they could see how excited I was to discover if I did have any siblings.
Finally in October 2021, six weeks after sending off the kit, the results were back.
I was shaking as I clicked on the page that links you to people who have also taken the test and share your DNA.
I instantly saw them. Three little circles with ‘half-brother’ under each one, two of which had the same birthdate, so were twins, I screamed with excitement. I’d found them.
One, Wesley, had a small photo.
Heart thumping, I saw he had the same cheeks and eyes as I did, and a huge smile.
I spent an hour crafting my four-sentence message to him and, adrenaline pumping, clicked send.
I messaged my family to let them know what was happening, then all I could do was wait.
Some 24 nerve shredding hours later Wesley replied, writing ‘Welcome to the fam!’
I was enormously relieved.
The messages flew between us. We talked about our lives and how we’d found out about our conception. He was such a cool, laid back guy.
Wesley also knew how I could get in touch with the twins, called Tyler and Jason.
I met Jason two months later, which was incredible, and then later I finally arranged to meet with Wesley.
Mum and dad were supportive about it all, and my life was filled with excitement and happiness.
Then, in March 2022, I was hit by a devastating loss when I lost my dad suddenly to a suspected aneurysm.
It was such a huge, unexpected shock. Just as I was discovering all these new, amazing parts of my family, I lost one of the closest members of it.
It was devastating but I took some comfort from the fact that he didn’t have to carry the secret to his grave.
Dad saw that I knew and that I loved him just as much as ever and in a funny way, it was all thanks to my cancer!
Without my diagnosis I’d never have found my three new brothers.
I still haven’t met Tyler but I hope to and when I marry John in September 2023 I’d love them all to be there to celebrate with us.
The past few years have been a rollercoaster but I’ve learned that, whatever the twists and turns life throws at you, something terrible really can turn into something wonderful.
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