MEN are often accused of being uncaring and thoughtless. Here are five examples that prove otherwise, sort of.
A bargain
Men cherish price reductions, whether eight almost out-of-date lasagnas are needed or not. He will always proudly tell you ‘the bargain story’ like a caveman showing you a dead deer. A good bargain is a sign of virility, and men may well engage in a ‘bargain-measuring contest’. Above all he’s really stuck it to ‘big retail’ with that £6 blazer Next had written off as landfill.
Good advice
A DIY tip, a good shortcut, or even a half-decent joke will make the giver a trustworthy advisor. The advice will then be stolen as the man’s own information, and circulated to anyone who’ll listen. He’ll embellish it to add personal authenticity and disguise it being plagiarised – though the excessive detail may give the game away. It’s all a bit of a palaver over handy places to park in Crewe.
Their achievements
Whether it was coming second in the local pub pool league 14 years ago, or having trials for a tier nine football team when they were eight, a man’s achievements will never be taken for granted. ‘Salesperson of the month, February 2013’ is particularly impressive, along with any flattering interest from random females, even if he’s reading way too much into it.
Their mates
Mates, even if they’re twats, are a bedrock of a man’s life. They’re regularly bonded with over football on a pub TV, and may congregate to perform repair tasks on each other’s houses or cars. All will have great expertise on many topics from windscreen wipers to the war in Ukraine. They’re clearly talking bollocks, but a mutual pact of silence over this is what mates are for.
Their hobbies
Whether it’s trains or trainers, nothing but the best will do for a man’s hobby: the most up-to-date running gadgets, a frighteningly expensive Intercity train that’s five inches long. There’ll be genuine Tuscan buffalo mozzarella for the stone-built pizza oven, which is odd when he fails at simple tasks like replacing his 15-year-old boxer shorts, but it’s all part of the joy of being a man.