DID you get way too pissed at your Christmas work party and now have to face being in the office again? Here’s how to cope. 

Don’t try to sober up 

If you were so horribly slaughtered you’re still drunk when you wake up, run with it. Have a shower to try and hide the stink of booze leaching from every pore, but don’t fight being pissed. If you sober up, you’ll start wondering why Annette on reception is giving you odd looks. 

Avoid the staff kitchen 

You normally enjoy pretending it takes 25 minutes to make a cup of tea while you yap in the kitchen, but avoid it like the plague today. A co-worker might gleefully relate how you puked up on Trudy from marketing’s sofa then stumbled off into the night to go to Spearmint Rhino. It’s best not to know. 

Spend a lot of time in the toilet 

If you can get through this crippling hangover without seeing many people, you’ll feel much better tomorrow and be able to laugh off any embarrassing misadventures. Hiding in the toilets not only shelters you from the jeers of colleagues, but means you can lie down on the nice, cool floor when another wave of nausea overtakes you. 

Pretend you’re working very hard 

Avoid Steve from accounts rocking up to your desk and calling you a ‘total leg’ for downing a pint of lager and belching the Eastenders theme to the MD by pretending you’re incredibly busy today. If possible, put headphones on and join some Zoom strategy meetings you don’t really need to be in. Even that f’**king tedium is better than being reminded of your terrible behaviour. 

Call in sick 

Got a vague memory of telling your boss you’d ask them out if they were 25 years younger? Better call in sick. Yes, it’s highly suspicious but they will be equally pleased not to see you, because they also remember you crying about your ex for 40 minutes, which you’ve conveniently blanked out.